What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?
Last Updated: 20.06.2025 09:03
Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!
Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.
Shameless vixen! Trollop!
Make Nazis afraid again!
But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!
“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”
Why is there no evidence of a multiverse theory?
Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …
I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.
Marijuana makes Jesus cry!
Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.
Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!
Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?
Why is there no great temptress figure in any of Tolkien’s major works?
Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)
I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.
Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.
And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.
Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.
Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.
Why don't I get sleep at nights?
TEXT:
Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!
Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority
Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.
Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!
Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.
It seems that I am cursed with bad luck. How do I break such a curse?
In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …
Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!
Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.
Where's the Civil War everyone on the left said would happen?
¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!
And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...
In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …
Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.
Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.
After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.
At least until the peyote kicks in ...